Comedian Margaret Cho recently opened up about her journey to sobriety and her experiences with relapse in a deeply personal chat with Neal Brennan. Her candidness sheds light on the complexities of addiction and the path to recovery.
Early Sobriety and the Mid-90s Breakthrough
Margaret Cho’s struggle with addiction began in her early years, significantly impacting her life and career. In the mid-90s, she took a crucial step by getting sober for the first time. Cho recalls, “I got sober initially in the mid-90s because I was having a really bad problem with alcohol and drugs.” This decision marked a turning point in her life, leading to positive changes such as moving to New York and performing off-Broadway shows.
The Pursuit of Perfection and Relapse
“I just got so rigid about this idea of like I’m going to be pure, I’m not going to have any chemicals in my system. It was just like I had lived so rigidly like as this monastic life for 5 years and thinking like I’m going to be pure. It’s its own addiction and own, like, I like fasting. I like the sort of self-flagellation part of it.
Margaret Cho on Seeking Perfection
Throughout Margaret Cho’s candid recounting, the pursuit of perfection emerges as a poignant theme in her journey toward sobriety and self-discovery. Initially propelled by a desperate need to escape the throes of addiction, Cho embraced extreme measures such as veganism, raw veganism, and stringent fasting. These choices, initially empowering, eventually morphed into a rigid lifestyle characterized by strict rules and self-imposed limitations. Cho’s fixation on achieving purity, free from chemicals and processed foods, reflects a profound desire for control—a common trait among individuals navigating recovery from addiction. However, this relentless pursuit of an idealized state proved isolating, alienating her from societal norms and personal freedoms crucial for sustained healing.
Moreover, Cho’s experience vividly illustrates the pitfalls of perfectionism within the context of sobriety. Her relentless drive for flawlessness in diet and lifestyle not only failed to provide lasting fulfillment but also exacerbated feelings of inadequacy and frustration when unable to maintain such high standards. This perfectionistic mindset, rooted in good intentions, paradoxically heightened stress and anxiety—factors that can potentially trigger relapse. Her story poignantly underscores the importance of balance and flexibility in recovery journeys, where embracing imperfection and learning from setbacks are vital for long-term well-being. Ultimately, Cho’s narrative serves as a powerful testament to the transformative power of self-compassion, resilience, and acceptance of life’s imperfect realities on the path to healing.
‘I was having a really bad problem with alcohol and drugs and um so then I got sober and my life started to go really well.’
Margaret Cho on Sobriety.
The 13-Year Struggle
The aftermath of this relapse was profound, leading to a 13-year struggle with addiction. Cho describes how this period affected her life, stating, “I was just drinking and on drugs… out of my mind.” Despite her success as a comedian, her personal life was in turmoil. She recounts the moment of realization: “My friends were like, that’s enough, and I got kidnapped and went to treatment.”
Rehabilitation and Rediscovery
Cho’s recovery process involved an extensive stay at a treatment facility, where she spent over a year and nine months. She found solace in the structured environment, saying, “I really thrive in an institution… it’s where I really am at my best.” The regimented routine and supportive community were crucial in helping her regain control of her life.
Embracing Positivity and Advocacy
Margaret Cho’s journey is a testament to her resilience and determination. By sharing her story, she hopes to break the stigma surrounding addiction and recovery. Her experiences highlight the importance of self-awareness, support systems, and the courage to seek help. Cho’s message is one of hope and resilience, reminding us that recovery is possible, even after significant setbacks.
Her candid discussion about her sobriety journey offers valuable insights into the challenges and triumphs of overcoming addiction. Her story underscores the importance of understanding relapse as a part of recovery and the power of supportive communities in achieving lasting sobriety.